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Marthathon: Earth Obstetrics Training Doesn't Cover Alien Egg Babies 
8th-Sep-2006 12:37 pm
Title: Earth Obstetrics Training Doesn't Cover Alien Egg Babies
Author: livii
Characters: Martha, Ten
Rating: G
Word Count: 407
Notes: For uktechgirl in the Marthathon, using request #3: Martha tries to kill the Doctor with a big rock. Thanks to redscharlach for the best line in the whole (tiny) thing, and to nostalgia_lj for looking it over.

"What did you do that for?" the Doctor whined, rubbing his head.

"You said, and I quote, 'Martha Jones, if you see any more aliens, stop them however you can', end quote."

"I didn't mean me!"

"But you just said you were an alien," Martha replied.

"I'm the good sort of alien," the Doctor protested. "Big green bugs taking over the hospital – bad aliens. Handsome men in pinstripes – good alien." He made helpful hand gestures to illustrate his point.

Martha rolled her eyes.

"That really hurt, you know," the Doctor continued. "And it's not like it would have worked anyway."

"Why not?" Martha asked. "Should I have used a heavier rock? You do seem to be alright, so I suppose I should have."

The Doctor carefully moved out of rock-hitting range. "I'd just regenerate. I have three lives left, and maybe I'd even be ginger the next time, though that just makes my head hurt again, for some reason."

"I have three more rocks," Martha said, helpfully.

"Not at all necessary, Miss Jones," he said loudly, from quite a distance away.

Martha shrugged. "Okay, if I promise not to try to kill you again, will you tell me what's going on?"

The Doctor hurried back to her side. "Considering we're presently surrounded by the Wirrn, and they can infect us quite easily, I think we should be on our way instead."

"Works for me," Martha said. "Pretty explanatory, actually."

"Huh," the Doctor said. "Usually I just explain things later. Must have done me a funny turn, when you hit me with that rock. Do you play cricket?"

"Come on," Martha urged, pulling the Doctor away at the last moment before one of the aliens could lay its eggs inside his body. "I'm not qualified yet, and even if I were, I wouldn't help you have alien egg babies."

The Doctor ran along behind her, spluttering. "I'm the male of the species!" he said, indignantly. "I don't have alien egg babies!"

Martha looked at him over her shoulder, speculatively. "You said you were an alien, yeah? So you'll have to prove that you don't to me later."

"This seems like a dysfunctional relationship," the Doctor said. "I think I like it."

"If it'll keep the spark alive, I can hit you with more rocks from time to time," Martha replied, grinning.

"Down, girl," the Doctor said. "We'll discuss the terms later."

And that's what they did.
8th-Sep-2006 08:02 pm (UTC)

I think Ten and Martha are going to have an interesting relationship...

Lovely job ;-D
8th-Sep-2006 10:39 pm (UTC)
I rather hope the relationship's a bit like this, actually! It would be much fun.

Thanks, glad you enjoyed!
8th-Sep-2006 08:58 pm (UTC)


If you could see the big goofy grin of woo I have on my face... That was very very lovely indeed. She's brilliantly arsey, and he's all flirty, and then she's all shmexy back again in an in-charge kind of way leaving him sort of trailing and confused, and there are rocks and gingerness and alien egg babies. WIN!
8th-Sep-2006 10:42 pm (UTC)
Whee! I watched Mawdryn Undead just to research for it too. It was too awesome of a prompt. :)

Am very glad you liked! Thanks for the lovely feedback. You are the best to write for in ficathons because you always give such good feedback. :D
8th-Sep-2006 11:24 pm (UTC)
Yay! I can take responsibility for making someone watch Mawdryn. I am a good little gingerminx fangirl.

And bless you: I don't tend to give terribly useful feedback, since mostly it's whooping and squeeing of some variety or other (and am always wary of giving concrit in case that wasn't what the person wanted - not that I'd have anything constructive to add to this shiny little nugget of joy). But I find it really odd when people don't get responses in ficathons from the person who gave the prompt. I'm always absurdly excited when someone writes a story for me. :)
9th-Sep-2006 12:00 am (UTC)
We adored Mawdryn, so that was awesome. Then we watched Terminus which was, um, not so much. We're hopeful for Enlightenment. Billy's anxious to see if the Black Guardian acknowledges the fact that he has a bird on his head. ;)

Ah, but your feedback included bits you liked, and specific reactions, and that makes me so gleeful. Getting great feedback like that for a ficathon story is the best.
9th-Sep-2006 12:13 am (UTC)
Terminus is dire. The godawful Bladerunnery music drives me insane (though presumably it's there to drown out the noise from the Clankiest Armour Ever Designed). The first episode's quite promising, and then it's tunnels and Liza Goddard's frightwig and the infamous clothes-shedding. Aside from the lovely parting scene, the only reason to rewatch it is really the trilogy-ness of it.

But Mawdryn is great, and Enlightenment is a WORK OF GENIUS. Seriously, it's camp as Christmas and has some deeply hilarious effects (VACUUM SHIELD OFF!'), but I love it to pieces. Pirates and angst and Five attacking a sherry trifle as if he's been starved. And bondage!Turlough, of course, but that goes without saying. Plus Tegan finally gets an outfit that does nice things to her boobies, so everyone is happy. I cannot imagine a universe in which you won't love it.

You made me gleeful! I made you gleeful back again! Hurrah for ficathons!
8th-Sep-2006 10:23 pm (UTC)
oh, I love this Martha - smart and resourceful and witty

bit like Ace, actually, with the rocks and the threats of bodily harm :) love it!
8th-Sep-2006 10:43 pm (UTC)
Thanks very much! It'd be great if Martha was a bit like Ace - great character. :D
9th-Sep-2006 12:50 am (UTC)
Ahaah fantastic! She hits him in the head with a rock. Very straightforward girl, our Miss Jones. I love the "I have three more rocks" bit too, and the alien babies. Hooray!

I can see Turlough watching her and going, "Amatuer!" even though she actually managed to hit him. Hahaaha.
9th-Sep-2006 08:47 pm (UTC)
Thank you! And yeah, I thought - what the hell, let's have her manage to hit him with the rock, rather than just ry. That's the sort of Martha I want. ;D
9th-Sep-2006 01:38 am (UTC)
Loved this!! Was laughing through the whole thing.
:) :)
9th-Sep-2006 08:48 pm (UTC)
Thanks very much!
10th-Sep-2006 12:37 am (UTC)
Aww, I love the way you write Martha. And you used the rock prompt! :D
10th-Sep-2006 04:26 am (UTC)
Thank you! This Martha is a blast to write. :)
30th-Nov-2006 03:02 am (UTC)
Turlogh flashback! at least i hope that's what the criket meant. Absoulutly excellent.