Sister Boot Knife of Sweet Reason (takhys) wrote in lifeonmartha,
Sister Boot Knife of Sweet Reason

FIC: "Dearest T.S. Eliot" by Takhys

Title: Dearest T.S. Eliot, You Got It Wrong. It's Both. Love, Captain Jack Harkness.
Author: Takhys (takhys)
Pairing: Ten/Jack/Martha
Rating: PG
Word Count: 550
Summary: While the BDO (Big Dumb Object) charges, Jack has an epiphany -- which may or may not have been brought on by gayon radiation.
Author's Notes: Very, silly humour piece that was inspired by single line. I can't remember who wrote the wonderfully sweet fic about Jack flirting with a fern, and I hope you don't mind that I've made mention of that here. First fic. Hold my hand?
Spoilers: Begins immediately after Utopia so, omg yes.

There they were at the End of Time, On the Beach, or whichever capitalized, semi-literary, half-clichéd title you'd prefer, sitting about, waiting on the technology to finish leeching out whichever sort of particle (which did not go ping, whizz, or hum) from the odd, sort of blue-green crystal which looked vaguely like Gorbachev's head when Jack suddenly had an epiphany.


"Yes, Jack?"

"Since we've time while the BDO charges..."

And time for Martha to interject, "Who named it the BDO, anyway?"

"Big Dumb Object!" Ah, two voices in unison. It's best when the Doctor and a companion or two shout out the answer together. It's a little known fact, but the harmony of two voices at once is particularly soothing to the Time Lord's advanced physiology. Moreover, if true harmony can't be achieved, witty banter will provide a suitable substitute.

"Suits it." With a poorly concealed laugh, she took another look at the shape of the most ridiculous time travel device she'd ever seen. There was even a darker blotch, right where it was needed. Why couldn't they fly though time and space attached to someone other than the man responsible for Glasnost? She shook her head and muttered again, "Really suits."

"As I was saying, Doctor, I've learned a great deal from you. Remember how you said there'll be a quiz later? Well, you can't get much later than this." Leaning against a tall crate, Jack seemed content, maybe even a little smug as he listed some of the lessons he'd been given, "I've learned that bananas are good, sentient ferns are interesting, large ears do not always equal wind resistance, and most important of all, never make a rule without a loophole." Pause. Pause. Grin. "So, you see, Doctor, I had an epiphany. Look where and when we are. Martha, are you getting it?"

Uh-oh, a matching grin from Martha, and a rather predatory grin at that. "Very soon, I hope so."

"When did he tell you?"

"Bad day, thing with lizards and space pollen."

"Space pollen. The kinda that makes you..." It's probably for the best that the hand actions that went along with that dramatic pause are left to the reader's imagination.

It's not fair when the Doctor is the last one in on the joke. Perhaps he should make a comment about the epiphany being a strange new experience for Jack? Maybe it could be passed off as the effects of, oh, hell, some sort of particle? Gayons, perhaps. Or would that be too obvious? Why, oh why were they looking at him like that? Advancing, even. Space pollen? What was it about space pollen?

"That's the day he said he'd only give me a go-fer if it was the end of time and I was the last woman alive on the planet with him."

...oh, right. That's what he said about space pollen. "Did I really say that?"

"Uh, yeah," she turned back to Jack with that sad, slightly dismissive headshake of hers, "Rather rude of him, don't you think? Hard on a girl's self-image."

A quick look at Gorby's noggin (still hours to go!) and he tugged at an ear, shrugged, shuffled his feet a little and generally seemed to waffle on the matter, "Well, I suppose a Doctor really shouldn't break his promises, should he?"
Tags: fic

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