Vonnie Smith (vonnie1019) wrote in lifeonmartha,
Vonnie Smith

Fic: Regrets

Author: vonnie1019
pairing: 11/Martha
Summary: After taking the Ponds home, the Doctor goes back to the TARDIS and during one of he trips, he meets a woman who had deserved better.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who, just borrowing the characters
Author's Notes: This is my first 11/Martha story. I'm nervous about this one because I've never written a fic about Eleven. I just hope he's in character so I really need feedback. Feedback is good :)

* * *

The door opened.

“We’re home,” Amy said, puzzled. “Why are we home?”

“Don’t you get homesick?” The Doctor patted her baby bump.

“Well,” I guess it’s good to be home sometimes.”

He embraced Amy and Rory, tightening his grip on them.

“I’ll miss you.” Amy said, pouting her lips.

“I’ll still come back for you and we can travel again. I promise.”

Amy teasingly jabbed his arm. “You’re sure?”

“Yes, I am sure. Now let’s go.”

They walked across the street and stood outside the flat.

Amy smiled. “Come back for dinner, Friday at six.”

“I’ll be there.”

He watched them go inside and then he went back to the TARDIS. He skipped around the console like a little boy with a big toy. For some reason he wanted to be alone. He didn’t know why. He loved when Amy and Rory were around.

“Now, where should I go?” He thought. “Ahhh, I know.”

He pulled switches, playing with levers and the machine whirred and shook. It shook violently this time as if she was angry. The Doctor was thrown against the stairs and held on as tight as he could until the machine finally halted. He stood, bemused.

“What was that all about?” He wondered and walked a little unsteadily toward the console with is arm stretched around his aching back. “Have I done anything wrong?”

The TARDIS hummed angrily.

“What did I do?” He turned the screen around. “And where are we? Back in the 21st Century? I wanted to go the future, to the planet Vulpecria.”

Go to her

“Go to whom?”

Martha Jones. She needs you

“Martha Jones?”

He did remember people, but Martha, he struggled with the name.

“Martha? Martha? Martha Jones?”

He paced around the console until he suddenly froze. There in front of him was an image of Martha, images among many. There she was, like a ghost but he could still see the burgundy jacket she wore and jeans. Her lovely dark hair pinned up.

“Doctor? Doctor?” Martha shouted.

And when he stepped toward her, the image vanished. Now he remembered and sighed.

Go to her

“But where? I don’t know?”

You’ll know

The Doctor opened the door and saw that he was on the busy streets of London. The TARDIS landed in a little park in the middle of the streets. There were benches and an elderly woman feeding the pigeons. He stepped out and walked to the end of the park. When the light turned red, he crossed the street and walked into the busy crowd. The Time Lord looked carefully around him.

“How can I find her in this crowd?” He thought. The Doctor remembered what his precious machine told him…you’ll know.

He continued to walk, looking in stores, cafes, everywhere. No Martha. This was ridiculous. He didn’t even know where she lived. Suddenly the sound of a car screeched through his ears, then a scream and then a thud. The Doctor ran into an already thickening crowd. He snaked around them and saw it was…Martha.

The driver got out of his car. “She just came out of nowhere. I—I didn’t see her.”

“Don’t worry, I’m a Doctor. He stared at her for a moment, noticing the delicate floral dress she wore with thin straps on her shoulders, the tattoo and a pink head band around her hair. He carefully picked her up; rushing away from the crowd.

“Where is he going with her?” A young woman shouted.

A burly man followed them.

“Hey! What are you doing? She needs to be in a hospital.”

“I said I’m a Doctor.”

“What kind of Doctor are you?”

“A Doctor who knows what he’s doing!” Annoyed he rolled his eyes and crossed the street where the TARDIS was parked.

“Look, I’m gonna call the police!”

The Doctor opened the blue door, hurried inside and slammed it shut.

“A police box?” He pounded on the door. “Get out of there! Get her out or else I’m coming in!” He struggled to get the door open and suddenly there was a whirring noise. He watched in absolute shock as the TARDIS dematerialized. “What the bloody hell?”

* * *

The Doctor hurried inside the medical room and put her onto the bed. He noticed bruises and nothing else but he had to make sure. He pulled out his sonic screwdriver and scanned her. There were no broken bones; he was relieved about that. She was only unconscious and no head trauma. He continued until healing her bruises. The Doctor placed his sonic screwdriver in a small pocket inside his tweed jacket. He then collapsed into a chair. The Time Lord still could not believe it was actually her. He stared at Martha every now and then to see if she would wake up and when she did, she groaned. He jumped up from the chair, walking up to her cautiously. Confused, she sat up and looked at him. He put his hands behind his back, smiling.

“Hello,” the Doctor said.

“Who are you? Where am I?”

“Be careful. You were in an accident. You should rest.”

“Look mate, what accident?”

“You were hit by a car. But you’re all right. I don’t think you were hit hard.”

“Thanks for saving my life but I don’t know you.”

‘Yes I know.”

“Alright, Mister, I’m going.”


Martha got off the bed and walked out into the corridors. A strange feeling rushed over her as if she recalled something. Her footsteps picked up until she came out into something huge. It looked a little different but now she remembered. She touched the console and gasped.

“I’m in the TARDIS! I’m in the bloody TARDIS again! No, it can’t be. No!”

“Hello, Martha. I’m the Doctor.”

Stunned, she gone up to him and stared into brown eyes, she gasped again. “It is you?”

He nodded, smiling.

“How--how did you find me?”

“She told me.”

“Who? You mean the TARDIS?”

“Yes!” He threw his hands up in the air, proud of her and thanking the machine.”

“Oh,” she looked up, talking to the machine. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say bloody TARDIS. I was just shocked and--”


“What do you mean?”

He was silent.

Martha, still shocked, had slid her hand gently through his hair. A few strands settled above his eye. “It’s amazing! How do you—I mean, how do you look so different?”

“Regeneration…a brand new me!”

She touched his hair again. “It’s not all sticking up like before, not that I didn’t like it. It’s just different now.”

“Yeah, but I’m not ginger yet.”


“My hair, it’s not ginger.”

“And you’re wearing a bow tie?” She chuckled.

“What?” he replied, tinkering with it. “Bowties are cool.”

Martha pulled at his suspenders.

“Suspenders are cool too.”

Martha shook her head with a smile on her plump lips and leaned against the railing. He joined her.

“Tell me,” Martha began, “when you said I was angry before…what did you mean?”

“Well you have every right to be angry at me.”

“Angry at you? You didn’t do anything wrong.”


Martha could not hide the sadness on her face and looked down on the floor.

“Yes? You do remember.”

“Well I’ll admit you treated me like I was just a passenger and not someone you really cared about. And that hurt a lot. But I’ve moved on since. I joined UNIT and then I met someone who really loved me. You remember Mickey. I told him to join and he did. We got married and fought many aliens. Then one day, we were invaded by sontarans. We were on the field and I looked at him. He smiled, as if to tell me we’ll make it. The next thing I saw he was shot, but I managed to kill the sontaran.” She sniffed back some tears. “Mickey died. I’ll never get married again.”

“I’m sorry.” The Doctor said sympathetically.

“I’m sorry, too. If I didn’t tell him to join UNIT with me, he would be still alive. I couldn’t work there anymore, not after that. I went back to working in the hospital.”

He circled his arm around her and she laid her face against his chest. “Martha, it’s not your fault.”

“Yeah, well.”

He got up and headed toward the console. He paced around a bit and then he hit his head.

“Why?” He thought. “Why did I let her go?”

Suddenly he swung around. His eyes were wide and he grinned. “Are you hungry?”

“Um—yeah, I’m hungry.”

“Well,” the Doctor said excitedly, “Let’s eat!” He tossed his jacket onto the steps and grabbed her hand. They walked past a few doors and he opened one of them. Inside was the kitchen.

She sat down. “So, what’s on the menu?”

“Fish fingers and custard.”


“Fish fingers and custard. I’m sure you’ll love it.”

“No more bananas?”


“Never mind.”

He grinned again and started frying some fish fingers in a pan.

“Are you traveling alone now?”

“No. I have two friends…Amy and Rory. You’ll like them.”

“Where are they?”

“Home, but we still travel together.”

“I’m curious. Do you still love Rose?”


A flash of her face came to memory. He could see her crying and she said…

“I--I love you.”

“We were just friends.”

“Doctor, you were more than that.”

“I moved on.” He said, serious.

Martha noticed he was uncomfortable. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have mentioned it.”

“And now!”

His voice startled Martha. He still didn’t lose the mad side of him.

“The fish fingers are ready!” He took the spatula and dropped them on their plates. “I’ll get the custard.”

Martha hoped she wouldn’t get nauseated while looking at him taking the bowl out of the refrigerator.

“Well,” she said. “This is different.”

The Time Lord took a fish finger and dipped it into the bowl. Martha watched him while he ate a piece. He smiled. “Go on, try it.”

Martha frowned while she took a fish finger, dipped it into the custard and gingerly ate a piece. She chewed it slowly and then she suddenly gulped it down with some water.

“I’m a bad cook?”

“No, it’s just—I’ll have the fish fingers without the custard please. How can you eat it that way?”

“Always loved it since Amy was a little girl.”

“You knew her that long?”

“I promised I’d come back for her but—I was too late. I met her again. Amelia was all grown up and dating Rory. Now they’re married and they’re going to have a baby!”

“Really? That’s great!”

He leaned forward, smiling at her.

“What? Why are you staring at me like that?”

“Martha Jones, you’re stunning.”

“Come on, you’re telling me now? Now? “

“I wanted to tell you then. I was so stupid! I'm sorry."

She smiled, shaking her head. “Thanks for the compliment. And you’re still handsome.”

“I am?” He said and tinkered with his bowtie.

Martha chuckled. “Yes you are.”

“Let’s go."

He grabbed her hand.

“Where are we going now?

The Doctor led her back inside the console room.

“Do you want to see the universe again?”

“This is my day off. I have to be back at the hospital tomorrow. I can’t travel with you again.”

“One more time and I promise I’ll have you home before tomorrow.”


“Where do you want to go?”

“I don’t know. We’ve been to so many places.”

“But you haven’t been here.”

The Doctor began hitting buttons.

“I can’t think of where that could be?”

‘You’ll see.”

He pulled down the lever and the TARDIS came alive again, whirring and shaking. They held onto the console.

“I’ll never get used to this!” Martha shouted.


Martha laughed and recalled their adventures. She wanted to travel with him one more time. The TARDIS came to an abrupt stop.

“Where are we?” She followed the Doctor to the door. He opened it.

“Oh my God!”

“We’re inside the Orion Nebula in your galaxy.”

“It’s—it’s incredible!” Martha was overwhelmed at what she saw. Pink, red, blue-violet clouds of gas and stars towered around them while the machine drifted slowly.

“I’ve read about it in school but I never thought I would actually see it. We’re actually here!”

“I told you I would take you to a place you’ve never been.”

“You did and it’s beautiful!”

“See those stars? They’re just beginning their lives. After the supernova, the stars began evolving again.” He peeked at her from the corner of his eye. “The nebula, it started over.”

Martha had a feeling he was watching her. She stared back at him and went inside, folding her arms. The Doctor shut the door. He quickly marched up the ramp.


“We can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I can’t be with anyone right now, especially a Time Lord. I appreciate what you’ve done, showing me the Nebula. It was really beautiful and--”

The Doctor cradled her face in his hands and kissed her. Shocked, Martha didn’t know what to say. All she knew was that she liked it.

He leaned his forehead against hers. “Stay with me.”

“Doctor I--”

He kissed her again, tasting her lips.

She sighed and closed her eyes while he held the left side of her cheek, caressing it.

“Please, stay with me. I love you, Martha.”

“We were always meant to be together then,” she cocked her head and squinted “But it wasn’t the right time.”

He nodded and held her hands. There were no words said while they strolled out of the console room. Martha had no idea where he was taking her, but she had a feeling. The Doctor opened the door to his bedroom and they sat down on the bed. They didn’t look at each other.

Martha broke the silence. I still can’t believe we’re together again. I’ve always loved you. You were everything to me.”

The Doctor turned toward her with a little flirty smile. He leaned close to Martha and kissed her. This time more passionately. Their tongues were deep inside, snogging each other senseless. He pulled down his suspenders and she took off his bowtie. The Time Lord kissed her neck, then down to her shoulder. He peeled down the thin straps of her dress and with his eyes closed he whispered…“I love you.”

* * *

The Doctor’s eyes snapped open. The lights were on. He sprang from the pillow, breathing erratically.


There was no Martha…only the sound of his two hearts beating.

Quickly, the Doctor got up and wrapped himself in a robe. He ran out into the corridors.

“Martha! Martha!”

He ran round and round until he was inside the console room. “Martha!!!”

At that moment, Amy and Rory came downstairs.

“Doctor?” Amy said, yawning. “What’s going on?”

“What?” Confused, he said, “Where’s Martha?”

“Martha?” She peeked at Rory who shrugged. She looked at the Doctor again. “We don’t know any Martha.”

“She was here and… what are you doing here?”

They walked up to him.

Rory watched him strangely. “We live here, well; not all the time but this is where we stay.”

Amy put her hand onto the Doctor’s forehead. “You don’t have a fever.”

“No, I’m not sick. I’m fine. You can go back to bed.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I just need some time alone.”

“Okay,” Amy replied. “Good night.”

“Good night.”

The Doctor looked up at his precious TARDIS. “A dream.” He shook his head.

Disappointed, he sat down on the steps. He ran a hand through his hair and held his head down.

* * *

After they ate breakfast, Amy and Rory came into the console room.

“Well!” The Doctor said, rubbing his hands together. “Good morning!”

“You seem to be in a better mood.” Amy said.

“I feel…happy. He nodded. “Yes, happy! Happy! So what are we doing today? I know, let’s go to the planet, Vulpecria”

“What planet is that?” Amy asked.

“You’ll love it.”

He scrambled around touching buttons and once the lever was pulled down, the TARDIS was in flight again. They all held on until the machine stopped shaking.

He opened the door and…déjà vu. The machine landed in the same park in his dream.

“Doctor,” Rory said, “We’re still in London.”

“No, No. Something’s wrong.” He had gone back inside and looked up at the TARDIS. She hummed contently.

Baffled, he walked out and shut the door.

“I thought we were going to Vulpecria?” Amy said

“Well, you know how the TARDIS can be. She can act a bit out of sorts.”

“Okay, now that we’re here,” Amy said, “We can still do something. How about a museum? Oh, Van Gogh. I can always see his paintings again!”


Amy frowned. “Aren’t we going back to the TARDIS?”

“She needs a rest. It’s not that far. We’ll walk. Walking is good.”

They crossed the street. The Doctor threw his arms around Amy and Rory. He hoped they didn’t see his somber expression. Suddenly, he saw a familiar face walking past them and talking on her cell phone. He turned Amy and Rory around.

“I thought we were going to the museum?” They said in unison.

“No, there’s something else we have to do.” He grinned. “You’re about to meet a very stunning, remarkable, incredibly intelligent woman. And her name is Martha!”
Tags: fic

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